How To Prevent Introvert Hangover This Holiday Season

Chances are you're familiar with the term "hangover." It's that morning-after feeling when you wake up groggy, unable to focus, and totally drained after a night out with friends.

But have you heard of the ”Introvert Hangover”

What is Introvert Hangover?

Before you scoff at the idea, yes, it’s a real thing. And they can be really rough. This is what happens when introverts spend too much time interacting with others and end up feeling completely exhausted and drained. While introverts value socializing to a certain extent, navigating socially demanding environments drains their energy, leading to what's known as an introvert hangover—an overwhelming withdrawal into oneself due to overstimulation. Let’s be clear, everyone, even extroverts feel drained after socializing, but for introverts, social hangovers can hit quicker and harder.

For instance, if I plan for a 2 hour social event but end up staying for 4, I’m likely to experience an introvert hangover. I’ll be operating on an energy deficit from that point onwards. And when it hits, the effects are not just mental but physical too.

What are the Signs of Introvert Hangover?

Like an alcohol induced hangover, an Introvert Hangover exhibits physical signs. Here are 7 telltale signs of an introvert hangover:

1.     You get irritable

Little things get on your nerves. And some of these little things can sometimes throw you into a meltdown.

2.     Your speech is affected

I start losing my words, forgetting commonly used words that usually come easily to me. I sometimes misprounouce my words. Think ‘Slip’ vs ‘Sleep’. You might run your words together or mispronounce or slur them.

 3.     You’re tired

You feel sluggish, sometimes overwhelmingly low on energy that even a sugary treat will not do the trick. It almost feels like completing an intense HIIT workout and needing immediate rest.

 4.     You zone out

You lose focus in the middle of a conversation not really hearing what they’re saying. Sometimes your mind drifts into a daydream or at times my mind floats into random subjects such as human behaviour or project management.

 5.     You start feeling anxious

An introvert hangover at times exacerbate existing social anxiety some introverts have. This can lead to nervousness, worry about judgment, and feelings of panic in social settings.

 6.     You can’t think clearly

You have trouble making simple decisions such as “Do I want to order take-out and eat-in”. Your brain seems to be processing information at a slower pace, and trying to recall details is not happening as easy as it usually does.

 7.     You have an intense desire to be in a quiet and alone space

This is a telltale sign (for me) to exit the scene. When images of curling up on the couch or wanting to be in pajamas and sitting on the bed begin to float up in my mind, I know that’s time to bid the party farewell.

“So long, Farewell”

How not to experience Introvert Hangover this holiday Season?

As the holiday season approaches, filled with Christmas parties and year-end gatherings, it's crucial to prevent an introvert hangover. Here’s how:

1.     Know when to leave the party

Self-awareness is important. Everyone has a different capacity when it comes to socializing. Knowing where your upper and lower limits are, when to take off before you hit your limit is important. This requires some trial and error. But your body will give you cues for when you’ve had enough. For me personally, when I start to zone out of conversations or when I start craving for my couch or my pajamas, I know it’s time I say “adieu”. Take note of how you feel and respond when you are close to your limit. Journal that down and see if any trends or patterns emerge.

2.     Drive separately or have your own ride available post party

Imagine running low on energy and having to share a ride home and feeling obliged to engage in more conversations post event. If that caused you to frown a little, move back from the screen a little, shrug a little, don’t forget to arrange your own ride post party. This is also a good segueway to excusing yourself earlier than the end of the event. “My ride is here already. I’ll see you next time. Goodbye!”

3.     Get comfortable with saying “No”

Saying “no” can be hard. However, in order to prevent a potential hangover, being able to decline incoming requests and invitations is necessary. If you’re squirming in your seat thinking about turning down an invite in your inbox or on your phone, I’d encourage you to sit in the discomfort, then do it anyway. Both are hard – saying “no” to a friend or colleague is uncomfortable but so is suffering from an introvert hangover, worse burnout. Choose your hard.

If you need more resources to help you here’s a guide which you will find handy.  

4.     Make a list of restorative activities

Restorative activities can range from physical self-care to emotional self-care activities or a combination of both. Physical self-care activities are those that involve movement, yoga or spending time outside in fresh air. Activities that relax and recharge the body. Emotional self-care activities are those that tend to the inner thoughts, feelings and emotions. This can simply be enjoying solitude & quiet, journaling, or meditation. Having the list of restorative activities ready reduces the energy you have to put into decision making when you’re already low. You can simply pick an activity up and run with it to recharge and restore.

5.     Don’t beat yourself up for being an introvert

In my younger years, I often wished I was the outgoing, chatty, love surrounded by many people type of girl. I often feel a sense of guilt and worry about being judged when I tell my friends I’m leaving early so I can go home to read or do my schoolwork. If you, like me back then, constantly worry about what others think of you when you check-out of a social engagement because you need to recharge, this message is for you. Don’t be hard on yourself for needing to recharge. Recharging allows you more energy to next connect with your friends or colleagues. When you run on empty, you won’t be making the meaningful connections that you so crave. So, take a break, and come back again when you’re ready.

6.     Plan your calendar with intentionality

Triaging your calendar is a sure way of staying aligned with your priorities. I love this quote from Shane Parrish “Show me your calendar and I’ll show you your priorities”. I live by this quote. If you’re on my calendar, you’re on my list of priorities. Identifying your priorities and using them as a filter on which events to say yes or no to, will help create alignment between your internal values and external actions. When there is alignment, there will be a greater sense of connection and when you attend these engagements, you will find them less draining, and feel more joy.

If you know of an introverted family member or friend, a good way to support them is to provide them with understanding and space. If you find them suddenly in their shell, and more withdrawn, it’s not you. It’s just they need some time to recharge before they go again.

For fellow introverts, if you’ve filled your social calendar and know you are running on an energy deficit, know that it’s ok to change your mind on the next social event you’ve said yes too. It can simply be statement such as “I have overcommitted myself and I will have to decline this request, even though I had agreed to initially. Thank you for your kind invitation”

Introvert hangovers can be difficult and may emotionally feel a lot like their alcohol-induced namesake. Fortunately, there are many ways for introverts to recharge and protect their energy reserves so they can recover from introvert hangovers and prevent them in the future.May this holiday season be one that brings you joy, peace and meaningful connections, rather than anxiety, guilt and small talks.